There is no good reason to let depression get me down, I say!
Paint It Black
Life is like a succulent ripe strawberry, sweet, tart, and full of possibility. Yet some
days inspiration falters. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I question my path in life. I wonder if I have what it takes to feel worthy of the precious gift of life.
Today was one of those days. I turned down all invitations and slunk through my house cleaning and fixing things. When the sun came out I went for a long run in the park. Nothing lifts my mood more than a good Spring cleaning. I deep cleaned my kitchen and chipped away at household clutter. I deep cleaned by body with raw foods and home brewed Kombucha. I cleaned my skin with exercise and a good sweat.
Brilliant afternoon sun danced on Sedona’s red rocks as I rode with a friend through Oak Creek Canyon for a meditation and writing retreat. As we crossed the Midgley Bridge, my friend said “A woman jumped off Wednesday—third one this year.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why anyone would do that.”
“I know why she jumped off the bridge,” I said. I have lived in that dark place before, planning and fantasizing my escape. She asked why, but in that moment my words couldn’t convey the misery and desperation that leads someone to throw it all away.
It’s true what they say about suicide—it’s not a sudden, impulsive, reckless choice. It’s a well-considered decision born from a pain so long-standing and so intense that the will to live is worn away like the walls of the Grand Canyon.
“More people die by suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge than at any other site in the world.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_Bridge
If we’re born full of bliss and innate curiosity, how does this joy de vivre drain out of us? Continue reading →